


Truth is a Stranger

by perniciousLizard



Series: Fired Up and Bone Weary [19]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Amusement Parks, Bad Puns, Dadster, Fluff and Angst, Gaster mentioned - Freeform, Golf, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Stargazing, reset angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:31:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8014087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little by little, bit by bit, piece by piece, the truth comes out.  Honesty isn't easy when it is only going to make everyone miserable to hear it.  There are a lot of things for Sans to practice being honest about, if he can convince himself it's worth the effort.  Grillby may even have a secret of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Grillby watched for dark shadows blocking out the stars.  The sky stayed clear.  A brisk wind batted at him, sending his flames off in every direction with little input from him.  

“hey, it’s kind of chilly out,” Sans said.  He was on a blanket spread out on the ground, resting his head on his arms.  "you should come down here and sit with me so you don’t get cold."

"…is it cold…?"

"ok, you got me.  'course you don’t notice, but i’m frozen down to the bone.”

“Sans…you don’t get cold…”  

“got me again, babe.”  He winked.  "you’re pretty clever."

"You could just say you wanted me to sit with you.”  

“if you’re going to get technical.”  

Grillby sat down next to him.  It took Sans two seconds to start using his legs as a pillow.  

Since the last time Grillby’s schedule let him come out here, Sans had added some lawn chairs and a little platform for the telescope.  Had he built that?

Stars were just background to Grillby.  They were pretty, and knowing what they were gave him a feeling of odd kinship with them, but he couldn’t care about them as deeply as Sans seemed to.  He just liked seeing this side of Sans; the side that brought a little notebook with them whenever they came out here, and made notes in it that Grillby could understand maybe half of.  That part of him didn’t come out often enough.

Sans was always just a little bit happier here.  

“heh. you know, this isn’t so bad.”  

“…are you warm again?”  

“toasty.”  He stretched out his arm and, without looking, patted absently at Grillby’s chest.  He was quiet, again, for a while.  

Grillby tried to pick out some of the stars and constellations Sans had shown him.  

“That’s the _apostrophe dog_ , right?” Grillby asked, gesturing. Some of the constellation names were just things Sans had made up.  Sans would never admit it.  

“yep.  right alongside the _man-with-a-butt-for-a-face_.  that’s a classic one, but you have to admit old time humans had kind of an immature sense of humor.”  

“Maybe that man was a sacred hero.”

“i bet you’re right.  we’re missing, uh, cultural context.”  He snickered.

“We’re being very rude.”  

Sans pointed out some more of his made up names, slipping in a few commonly known real ones.  After a while, he sat up enough for Grillby to put his arms around him.  

“you want to know something pretty funny, grillbz?”  His tone was more serious than it usually was when he told a joke.

“…go ahead.”  It was better not to say “yes,” in case after the joke Grillby realized he hadn’t wanted to know.

“if there’s one good thing about doing this over and over, it’s getting to see this–” he gestured at the sky, “–for the first time.  every time.  that’s nice.  it’s funny that there’s anything nice about it.”  

Sans never talked about this.  Grillby was still.  

“‘cause everything else about it’s kind of a pain.”  He shrugged.  "oh well."

Grillby held onto him a little tighter, and rested his chin on the top of his skull.  "…maybe this is the last time."  He wouldn’t know better, if they were pulled back underground, but he still wanted to stay.  

"yeah. kind of like the way this one’s going.”  He looked down.  “better yet, i like where it is.”  

“…yes.”

“hey.”  Sans nudged him with his elbow.  "that was pretty romantic, right?  think i deserve something for that one."

Grillby laughed.  He kissed the top of Sans’ head.


	2. Chapter 2

Little by little, bit by bit, piece by piece.  

Most of the regulars had known to leave Sans’ seat empty, back underground, back in Snowdin.  Whatever time of day, it wouldn’t be long before Sans would be occupying it again.  He never seemed to care when he came in and someone else was in it, but saving it for him was a way the other regulars let him know he was welcome.  

Snow slowly drifted down, outside.  Sans had a few more drinks in him than normal, but instead of falling asleep until Papyrus came to carry him away, he sat and said nothing.  The bar was nearly empty.  He joked around if someone came over to talk with him and complained about only getting one break.  

“Grillbz says you were here most of the day.”

“yeah.  but that was still only one break.”  

Red Bird went home a short time before closing.  Sans wasn’t sleeping, but his head was down and if Grillby wasn’t paying attention, he might have assumed he was.  

Grillby leaned on the bar in front of him.  "………"

"guess i’d better head out.”  He started to get down from his stool, but swayed so drastically, Grillby’s hand shot out and caught him by the arm before he fell. 

“…………are you…….ok?”  

Sans hadn’t had a lot, but it didn’t _take_ a lot for him to get drunk.  Grillby wondered where Papyrus was.  Sans might be better off with someone to lean on, going home.  

“nah,” Sans said.  

Grillby had meant, “Did you drink too much?  Can you stand?”  Sans was answering a different question.  

“……” His grip tightened on Sans’ arm.  "………don’t fall off."

"ok.”  He looked up at Grillby.  His eye sockets were mostly dark.  He blinked, blearily.  

Grillby carefully let go.  He walked around the bar and held out his arm, to help him down.  

Sans’ expression was unreadable as he took Grillby’s hand and let himself be helped.  "thanks."  He slurred the end of the word, and wobbled when his slippers hit the floor.  "woah.  grillbz, shut down the ride.  i want off.”  

“…you’ll have to ride it out.”  

“yeah.”

The silence stretched a little long.  Grillby stepped back and looked him over, checking to see if he thought Sans could make it home by himself. He decided he might walk him back, so long as it didn’t seem like he was going to have to make a habit out of it.  

Sans was wobbling, and shadows looked like they were going to take over his face.  He would probably sit down in a snowbank halfway home and fall asleep.  Grillby wasn’t sure that would actually be dangerous, for a skeleton, but it wouldn’t be a comfortable way to wake up.

“……do you need help getting home?”  

“nah, i’m all right.”  

“……… _are_ you?”

Sans shrugged.  He started, unsteady, towards the door.  Grillby followed him, a little anxious.  He didn’t know what Sans’ average HP was, but he had the impression from things Papyrus had said that his health was not very good.  

“uh.  i can make it back, but i don’t mind the company.”  

Grillby sighed.  Sans was still misunderstanding his question, but in the opposite way.  He wasn’t sure why he bothered talking, most days.  He nodded and locked the door behind them when they left.

Snow had accumulated on the ground outside, and as Grillby stood still, it slowly melted away in a circle around him.  

“i’m trying to think of a good pun here,” Sans said.  "this is hard work. it’s _snow joke_."  The fresh air seemed to have livened him up.  He gestured at the ground.  "and you thought i was the one having a _meltdown_. heh.”  

“……………let’s go.”  

“i have a million more of those,” Sans said.  He was more alert, but he still slurred his words.

“…………………….and let’s hurry.”  

Sans laughed.  For a second, he almost looked like normal.  He whacked Grillby affectionately on the arm and started towards his house.  He occasionally put his hand out, like he needed to catch his balance.  

Grillby was sure he was being silly, and Sans would be fine, but he went along anyway.  

Halfway back, Grillby asked Sans if he wanted to talk about what was bothering him.  He assumed the answer would be “no,” but he wanted to at least ask.  Sans was his friend.

Sans shrugged.  "i don’t know.  not like you’ll remember this."

Grillby decided that Sans had accidentally said it the wrong way around. "……then, why not tell me?"  Even if Sans forgot, it might do him a little good to get it off his chest right then and there.  

"heh.  guess that’s a point.”  He didn’t say anything else, and they made it back to his house without him falling into a snowbank.  

A few days later, Grillby woke Sans up right after closing.  He was drunk, again, and didn’t lift his head up before speaking.

His words were muffled and confusing.  Grillby stood nearby and listened, trying to make sense of what Sans was saying, but mostly just trying to listen.  

“you were right,” Sans said.  "you’re going to forget, anyway, so why not."

Grillby remembered that conversation, and all the strange things Sans had told him.  At the time, he had wondered if the things Sans said were supposed to be some kind of metaphor, made incoherent by the drinking.  Little by little, over the years, he started to realize that Sans had meant them as the absolute literal truth.  

A while after they started going out, Sans showed him a photograph of the two of them together, on a date, in the MTT Resort.  Grillby had no memory of ever going on a date with Sans when they were underground, and only recalled seeing him in Hotland at his illegal hot dog stand.  The picture made no sense, and for a short time he was sure it had been doctored.  

The things Sans had told him when he had too much to drink came back to him, and he suddenly wasn’t so sure.  

He asked Sans if he remembered that conversation.  Sans had been too drunk and down in the dumps to remember what he told Grillby, but he seemed amused to hear about it.  "you had one job, grillbz, and it was to forget that stuff i told ya.”  

“It didn’t make any sense.  I still don’t really understand it.  But it wasn’t forgettable.”  

Sans shook his head.  "you think you can trust a guy."  He snorted.  

Sans could have denied what he said, or pretended he was lying or recounting the plot of some favorite sci-fi story.  He didn’t.  

He gave up another piece.  


	3. Chapter 3

Sans leaned against his golf club.  The sky was a shade of blue that he couldn’t have imagined underground, and the color spread across the sky uninterrupted by clouds.  

He couldn’t put something about it into words.  It was just nice.  It was more than that, but trying to add more words to it just seemed to take something away.  

They were on the eighth hole and Grillby was doing pretty well for himself.  Sans wasn’t sure why golf was so much easier for him than bowling.  Maybe it was easier for him to use fire magic to cheat out here.  

Anyway, they were only there because Grillby had heard a rumor that the bartender at the 19th hole was pretty good.  He was always curious about surface drinks, but liked a more _direct_ study of them than taking a class.  

“…Sans, wake up.  It’s your turn.”  

Sans hadn’t been sleeping, but it was an easy mistake to make.  He straightened up and took his shot.  He carefully used his magic to nudge it a little closer to the target.

Grillby crossed his arms over his chest.  "Your cheating is improving."

"cut the newb some slack, grillbz.”  Grillby was comparatively experienced, since he had played once before.  

“……no.”

At the eleventh hole, Grillby started to get visibly uneasy about the clouds rolling across the sky, so they skipped the rest of the course and went to grab some drinks inside.  Sans wondered if he could trick Papyrus into thinking he’d gotten a lot of exercise out there.  

They took one of the booths a little distance away from the bar.  

Grillby looked around, admiring all the wood paneling.  His glasses finally settled on Sans.  "You look like you’re in a good mood."

"yeah.  sorry about this morning.”  He shrugged.  "hope it didn’t _drive_ a  _wedge_ between us.“  

"Sans.”

“i wasn’t _teed off_ with you or anything.”  

“No.”

“you’re laughing.”  

“I am not.”  

He was.  Grillby’s flame was curling out from under his sleeves and around his collar, like it did every time he was trying not to laugh.  

“ok,” Sans said.  It was enough to know that Grillby thought he was hilarious, even if he wouldn’t admit it.  

“…were you…teed off about _something_ , though?” he asked, curious.  

“nah.  i just had this, uh, nagging feeling that i forgot something.”  Talking about it was just bringing it back, but a little fresh air and time made trying to remember feel less like being drunk and trying to grab onto something small.  "hey.  what’s today’s date?"  He got out his phone and checked.  No, the date didn’t ring any bells.  

"Doggo’s birthday is in three days,” Grillby said.  

“it’s…something like that.”  He rubbed the side of his skull.  "what’d it be underground?  the tenth, right?"  The calendar underground and the surface calendar had gone their separate ways after the barrier went up, so there was a pretty big difference.  

"…the sixteenth?  Let me check."

That hit on something.  "oh.  heh.  i know what it is.”  

“Oh?”  Grillby looked up from his own phone.  "Sans?  Are you all right?"

"huh?  yeah, fine.  wow.”  

Grillby was reading something other than “fine” off his face, though, and reached across the table to touch his hand.  "Sans?"

"it’s not…anything huge, grillby.”

“……ok.”

Time to change the subject.  "unlike your score," he said.  He snickered.  

For a second, he thought Grillby was going to push the issue.  "…I did better than you did."

"sure, but it’s my first time.”   _If it’s not a big deal, why don’t you just tell him?_ _Changing the subject means he’s going to worry about you over nothing._ _Quit being a jerk._ “anyway.”   Sans sighed.  "guess yesterday would’ve been my dad’s birthday."

Some of his memories of his dad were fragmented and some were completely gone.  He hadn’t been aware that he actually remembered his birthday.

"…oh?" Grillby’s flames stuttered in surprise.  He didn’t seem to have any idea what to say to that.  "I’m sorry.”

“like i said, it’s not a big deal.”

“…Papyrus has no idea, does he?”  

“nope.”   He didn’t want to think about telling Papyrus.  Voluntarily bringing up their dad would open Sans up to a lot of questions he didn’t want to get asked.  That Papyrus had every right to ask, really.  Sans tapped at his glass, thinking. 

Grillby nodded.  

“you think i should tell him.”  Sans went to pick up his glass, but taking a drink suddenly seemed like too much work.  It felt heavy in his hand.

“…I…don’t know enough about the situation to give you any advice about this.  I’m sure he would want to know, but I don’t have any idea what the…consequences would be, for you.”  

“he’d probably want to make a cake or something,” Sans said.  "so the, uh, consequences for me would probably be eating cake."  

"Sans.”

Sans hauled his glass up off the table and finished his drink.  "hey, looks like you were right."  He gestured at the window.  It was drizzling.  

"……I know.  Ugh."

"maybe we should get out of here before it gets real bad.”  

He nodded.  

“this place is all right.  doesn’t hold a candle to another place i know, though,” Sans said, winking.  

“…well.  It’s meant for humans.”  Grillby started to get up.

Other golfers started to filter in, out of the rain.  

“you want a shortcut outta here?”  Sans asked.  

Grillby nodded.  He took Sans’ arm.

 

–-

 

Sans watched television and listened to Grillby fussing around in the kitchen.  He had a few hours before Papyrus got home from work before he had to really make a decision.  He’d kind of already decided, though.  He was just still hoping for a chance to be a coward.  

Maybe Papyrus would have to work late.  

At exactly the same time he always got home, Papyrus walked in the door.

“SANS!   THIS IS WHERE I LEFT YOU!  HAVE YOU MOVED ALL DAY??”  Papyrus hung up his raincoat by the door so Grillby wouldn’t have to deal with water dripping around the house.  

“hey paps.  me and the couch are married now.  it would break my heart to leave it.”  

“GRILLBY!  DON’T TELL ME HE SPENT ALL DAY HERE!  I THOUGHT YOU HAD A DATE!”

Grillby came out of the kitchen.  "…we were out.  And then it rained."

"WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT SITTING AROUND ALL DAY?” Papyrus asked. “YOU WERE A LUMP ALL MORNING!  AS THE GREATEST AND BEST BROTHER ANYONE HAS EVER HAD, IT IS MY JOB TO WORRY!!”

“oops, sorry.”  Maybe there’d be no break in Papyrus’ nagging, and Sans would never get a shot at saying anything.  

Papyrus sat down next to him.  "I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING OUT, THOUGH!  EVEN THOUGH IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE IT HELPED MUCH, I AM SURE IT ACTUALLY DID!"

"yeah.”

“DAY BY DAY, YOU ARE GETTING STRONGER!”  

“uh.  ok.  thanks.”

“DO YOU NEED A HUG?”

“maybe later.”

“Sans.”  Grillby untied his apron and took it off.

“i’m working up to it,” Sans said.  

“You don’t have to.”  

Papyrus looked at Grillby, and then back at Sans.  

“nah.  but i can’t figure out a good way to bring it up.”  

“Just say you figured out what was bothering you.”  

“guess that works.”  

“I AM ONLY UNDERSTANDING HALF OF WHAT GRILLBY IS SAYING?  ARE YOU DOING THAT ON PURPOSE?”  

“grillbz, papyrus wants to know if you’re doing that on purpose.”  

“YOU’RE TRANSLATING THE WRONG PERSON!”

“ok.  grillbz said ‘sans.’”  

“I UNDERSTOOD THAT FAR!  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME, BROTHER, THAT YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SAY?”  

“uh, if i could figure out how to say it…”  He shrugged.  "ok. it’s not a huge deal.  i just remembered that yesterday was dad’s birthday."

"WHOSE DAD?”

“uh, ours.”  

Papyrus stared at him.  "YESTERDAY?  THEN WE MISSED IT!  AND…EVERY OTHER ONE FOR MANY YEARS?"

Sans was a little relieved that he mostly seemed confused.  

"HOW OLD WOULD HE HAVE BEEN?”  

“no idea.  maybe i’ll remember that out of nowhere in a few more years.”

“I SUPPOSE IT DOESN’T MATTER.  WE WILL JUST HAVE TO PICK A RANDOM NUMBER OF CANDLES FOR THE CAKE.”  

Sans snorted.  "i knew you were going to want to make a cake."

"IS THAT…OKAY?  I DON’T REMEMBER HIM AT ALL.  DID HE EVEN LIKE BIRTHDAY CAKES?  MAYBE HE HATED CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS?”  

“nah.   he’d just get distracted and forget it was coming up, and then even if we planned something with him ahead of time, it was like a surprise party every year.”  Sans laughed, tired, at the memory.

“HE WAS ABSENT MINDED?”

“about some stuff.  don’t worry, though.  he always remembered ours.”   A couple times, at the very last minute, but he’d gotten better at it.

“OH.”   Papyrus clearly couldn’t tell what to do with this information.  "THEN…I SHOULD DEFINITELY MAKE A CAKE FOR HIM!  BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY INGREDIENTS ON HAND?"

"…don’t worry," Grillby said.  "……I already got them together."

"OH!   THANK YOU!”

“you’re a good guy, grillbz,” Sans said.  

They left Sans alone in the living room while they baked a cake.  He was pretty grateful at first that he was going to get at least a short break from questions.  

The silence started to get to him after only a few minutes.  Not all the memories he got to keep were happy ones about birthdays.  It never did any good to dwell on how things had gone down, at the very end, but it just kept pushing and pushing at the inside of his skull if he let it.  The shadows on the wall wanted to bend towards him and his head started to fill up with static noise.  

He got up and went into the kitchen.  "so what kinda cake are we making?"

 

–-

 

"Do you have something of his?” Grillby asked Sans, quiet.

“with his dust?  nope.”

Grillby nodded and lit the candles on the cake, all at once, in a burst of fire.  They hadn’t known how many candles to use, but Papyrus had been sure he would have been pretty old, so they just used all the ones they had on hand.  The cake was impressively bright.  

“I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE, FATHER, FOR FORGETTING YOUR BIRTHDAY FOR SO MANY YEARS AND BEING LATE FOR THIS ONE!  I VOW TO REMEMBER EVERY YEAR GOING FORWARD!”  

“bro, there’s…no way you could’ve remembered.”  

“AND I ALSO WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT REMEMBERING ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU!  THAT IS INCREDIBLY RUDE OF ME, EVEN IF THERE IS NO WAY IT COULD BE OTHERWISE.”  

“i bet if he could hear us, he’d be telling you not to worry about it,” Sans said.  

“WHO BLOWS OUT THE CANDLES?”

“i’m voting not me on this.”  Everything felt too weird.  

They watched the candles burn down, dripping wax onto the cake.  Grillby waved his hand and they all went out.

“gotta say, this was about as much fun as i expected.”  

“IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!  IT IS EMOTIONALLY CATHARTIC, SANS!”

“well.”  Sans shrugged.  "glad i told you, then."  He was, even if all this thinking about back then was going to make the next few days pretty miserable for Sans.  If Papyrus got something good out of it, that made it worth it.  

"DO YOU HAVE ANY STORIES YOU COULD TELL ABOUT HIM?"

Sans went stiff, and then made himself relax.  "uh, lemme think.”  He kept his eye sockets on the table.  “ok, so you were the loudest babybones anyone’d ever heard, right?  dad gets back from work pretty late and we’re both asleep.  he goes to give you a good night hug, but the problem is he reeks pretty bad 'cause he was working near the core and he’s probably covered in grime, too, i dunno.  so you go from full sleep to wide awake just like that.  you’ve always hated getting anything gross on you.  you’d get food on you eating, and then scream until someone cleaned you off.  anyway.  you started to wail so loud it was kind of unbelievable.  i woke up, the neighbors woke up and the neighbors’ kid woke up.  that kid started to howl and it started a whole chain reaction and every monster in the entire building was wide awake, like someone pulled an alarm.  it was pretty great.  he remembered to take a shower before getting near you after that."

Papyrus listened to the story, riveted.  "WAS HE VERY ANGRY?”

“he was more tired than anything at the time, but we both thought it was pretty hilarious later.  you kind of get used to getting woken up in the middle of the night when there’s a baby.”  

Grillby touched Sans’ arm, and he started.  Did he look upset?  He mostly felt numb, at the moment.  

Papyrus cut them all pieces of cake.  

 

–-

 

Sans changed into a different t-shirt and some ragged sweat pants and climbed into bed.  Papyrus and Grillby were still in the kitchen.  

The day hadn’t been all bad.  He’d spent a lot of time under the open sky and Grillby got to admire some wood paneling.  Papyrus hadn’t added anything that weird to the cake.  

“if you can hear this, sorry,” Sans said, trying to picture his father’s face.    

There was a loud knock on the door.  He told Papyrus to come in.  Sans propped himself up on his elbows.  

“WHEN I ASKED IF YOU WANTED A HUG, EARLIER, YOU SAID 'MAYBE LATER,’” Papyrus said.  He shifted, uneasy.  

“aw, geez, get over here,” Sans said.  He sat up completely and Papyrus was suddenly there, squeezing the HP out of him.  That was another thing about that day that wasn’t terrible.  "sorry your bro’s so bad at this stuff.  i wish there was someone else around who could tell you about the old man, because it’s not like i don’t think you should know."

"IT IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU.  I USED TO THINK YOU WERE ANGRY BECAUSE I DID NOT REMEMBER HIM.”

Sans’ grip tightened on the back of Papyrus’ shirt.  "i wasn’t."

"I KNOW.”  

“he was real proud of you, papyrus.”

“HE SAID THAT?”

“all the time.  he told everyone at the lab about you shouting a whole building awake.  he knew how strong you were going to turn out.”

“I…REALLY WISH I REMEMBERED HIM.”  

“yeah.  it’s ok, though.”

“…SANS.”

“yeah, bro.”

“IF YOU JUST PUT A SIGN ON MY BACK, THIS TIME I WILL YELL LOUD ENOUGH THAT THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD HEARS AND YOU WILL GO DEAF.”  

“we’re having a moment, here, paps.  don’t ruin it.”  

“WHAT DOES IT SAY?”  

“shhh.  let’s just hug.”  

“DO YOU CARRY THEM ON YOU AT ALL TIMES, JUST IN CASE?”  

“shhhhh.”

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?”

“shh.”  


	4. Chapter 4

“SANS!  GET YOUR LAZY BONES OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT!  YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE!  LATE, LATE, _LATE_!!!”  

It was too familiar.  For a second, in the haze of waking, Sans was sure he would open his eyes and he would find himself back in Snowdin.  

He creaked open one socket and got an eye full of intense brotherly concern.

“DON’T TELL ME YOU FORGOT!”

He… _hadn’t_ forgotten.  Anything.  And his bro had usually just looked annoyed when he had to wake Sans up for sentry duty.  

“‘morning.”  He glanced around.  This sure wasn’t his bedroom in Snowdin.  Grillby’s slightly charred side of the bed was empty, but heat still radiated from that direction.  He hadn’t gotten up that long ago.  “nah, i know.  we’re taking the kid around.”  He tapped his skull.  "i’m up." 

"ARE YOU…WELL?”

“no, i’m sans,” Sans said.  He sat up.  

“SANS!!  YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”

“grillbz isn’t skipping out on this to do inventory or something, right?”

“HE WAS IN THE KITCHEN!  HE SAID 'YOU WAKE HIM UP,’ SO I DID!”

“uhoh.”   He swung his legs off the side of the bed.  Getting up in the morning was never going to stop being a pain.  

“SERIOUSLY, BROTHER, YOU ARE NOT KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME, ARE YOU?”  

“who, me?”

Papyrus stared at him.  "…THERE IS NO WAY FOR ME TO ANSWER THAT ISN’T JUST SCREAMING," he explained.  

"yeah, ok, fair enough i guess.”  He wished one of these days he could be keeping something from Papyrus, and it would be a good thing.  Like a surprise birthday party or a kitten.  

Most of the old crowd was heading to the theme park with Frisk.  They’d lucked out and picked a day when all the responsible monsters with jobs could get off or already had off.  

Sans made sure to put on a pair of over-sized sunglasses and a baseball cap before they headed out.  Wouldn’t want to get a sunburn.  

Grillby was still in the kitchen, stuffing enough food for twenty people into a bag.  He had on a simple black tank top and blue jeans.  

“hey, grillbz.  want me to rub some sunscreen on you before we go?”  Sans snickered.  "you don’t want to get burned."

Grillby paused in the middle of shoving a bag of pork rinds into the bag.  He looked Sans over.  "…yes," he said.  "……safety first."

"WHY IS YOUR FLIRTING SO WEIRD?”  Papyrus asked, from the living room.  

“who’s doing what now?”  Sans asked, a little embarrassed.  He hadn’t realized Papyrus would be able to hear him.  

“I WILL BE OUTSIDE, RUNNING A SAFETY CHECK ON THE CAR!  LIKE VERY COOL PEOPLE ALWAYS DO BEFORE LONG DRIVES!  YOU BOTH HAVE FIVE MINUTES!”  

“bro’s the coolest,” Sans said.  

Grillby nodded.  He finished stuffing the rest of the food in, and zipped the bag shut.  "…are you actually bringing sunscreen?"

"nah, but i’ll rub your shoulders and pretend, if you want,” Sans said.  "where’s your hat?  gotta keep the sun out of your eyes."

"…you seem to be having a good time.  I didn’t think you were going to wake up until it was too late."

"i was out, yeah.”  He shrugged.  "you got a bathing suit packed in there?  there’s a water park and everything." 

"Now you’re just being disgusting.”  

Sans laughed.  

Papyrus started loudly honking the horn outside.  

“think that’s our cue.”  

Grillby hoisted the bag onto his shoulder.  It looked heavy.  "…I hope this is enough."

"i can’t tell if you’re kidding.”  

“…would I joke about food?”

“mmmmaybe?”

Grillby nodded towards the door, and they went outside before someone called the police on Papyrus.

 

–-

 

Frisk brought along Monster Kid and a couple other tykes, but Sans wasn’t sure they really needed quite so many adults to keep four kids in line.  But, hell, it made the kiddo happy, having all their friends around at once, right?  Sans couldn’t blame them.

Sans took on the burden of being the designated stuff-watcher, when everyone went on rides.  He shared the responsibility with Grillby and Tori. She went with Frisk when she could, but a lot of the rides were uncomfortable for her to sit in. 

“I am looking forward to the ferris wheel,” she said.  

“what about the games?”  Sans nodded at some of the stalls.  

“I do hope you are prepared to get your butt kicked!”  

“sorry, grillbz.  sounds like you’ll be riding with my dust in the ferris wheel.”  

Grillby nodded, solemn.  He took some chips out of his bag and offered them to Toriel.

“I did not think we were allowed to bring in our own food,” she said.  

“yeah, but they don’t sell monster food here, so we get special permission,” Sans said.  "he looked into it since his appetite goes off the charts when it starts to get hot like this."

Grillby shrugged.  

"Oh dear.  Well, if you do not mind…”  She took some of the offered chips.  

Sans hauled his bony backside off the bench when they got around to the ferris wheel.  He was happy enough watching everyone have a good time, but there was a seating conflict.  Papyrus assumed he was going up with Undyne and Alphys, but they wanted to be romantic up there without hurting his feelings.  Sans decided to do Alphys a favor.  

“hey, bro.  you’re going with them?”  He sighed.  

“YOU HAVE NOT GONE ON ANYTHING YET.  WHY WOULD YOU START NOW?”

“dunno.  feeling _up_ to it.”  He was disappointed when no one seemed to even notice his joke.  

“BUT YOU ARE GOING ON WITH…”  Papyrus gave Toriel an uneasy look. There would be puns.

“Oh!  I am sitting with my child.  We are going to have a nice time, just the two of us, I think!”  

Frisk was clearly disappointed about not going up with their friends, but they didn’t argue.  Everyone wanted Alphys and Undyne to smooch in peace, without hurting Papyrus’ feelings.  

Everything was arranged.  A minute later, Papyrus burst out: "OH!  DID YOU WANT TO BE ALONE AND *ROMANTIC,* UNDYNE?  YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME!  I WOULD NOT DREAM OF GETTING IN THE WAY OF UNRESTRAINED PASSION!  I AM ENTIRELY FINE WITH NOT BEING AROUND IT AT ALL!"

"Thanks!”  Undyne said, nudging Papyrus hard enough in the arm that he fell over.  "I’ll give her a smooch for you!"

"PLEASE DON’T!”

“Ten smooches!”

“THEY ARE ALL ACTUALLY FROM UNDYNE, ALPHYS,” Papyrus explained.  

“Okay…”  The crowds had sapped most of Alphys’ energy, but she was smiling, her mind on getting to have a few minutes of peace with her wife.  

Grillby finished off a package of beef jerky and tossed the his garbage into a nearby trashcan.    

“hey, you’re coming along, right?” Sans asked.  

“OF COURSE HE IS,” Papyrus said.  "HE HAS BEEN STUCK WITH YOU AND YOUR LAZY BONES, NOT GOING ON ANY RIDES, ALL DAY!"

Grillby shrugged and got into line with them.  

They had just gotten loaded up and were a couple feet in the air when Toriel yelled, from another basket, "Sans!  How is the weather up there?  I bet no one has ever been able to make that joke with you before!”  

“i’ve just been owned,” Sans whispered.  

Grillby patted his knee.  

Sans got out his phone, pretty sure he couldn’t yell loud enough for Toriel to hear him, and quickly sent off a message.  

“SANS!   NO PHONES ON THE RIDE!”  

Sans heard Toriel snort-laughing from the other basket.  He put his phone back in his pocket.  "sorry."

Once everyone was loaded on, they started up.  Sans didn’t mind this ride. It was basically just like sitting on the bench on the ground, except with a view.  

When they got to the top, the breeze starting whipping Grillby’s fire around.  

"hey,” Sans said, nudging him.  "if you wanted to go on anything, you coulda said something."

He shook his head.  

"just not feeling it, huh.”  

Grillby put his arm around Sans’ shoulders.  

“I SAID TO MYSELF, IT IS FINE THAT I AM SHARING A RIDE WITH THEM!  THEY WILL NOT BE WEIRD AND ROMANTIC WITH ME RIGHT HERE, UNLIKE UNDYNE AND UNDYNE’S WIFE!”  

“this is the max, bro, i promise.”  

“NO!  DON’T MIND ME!  WOWIE!”  Papyrus looked over the edge.  "THE VIEW IS AMAZING!"

Grillby snuck a kiss in while Papyrus was looking away.  

"you’re in a mood,” Sans said, laughing.  "want to win me something after everyone’s switched over to the water park?"

"…you can go with them."

"eh.  not my thing.”  

“IT IS TRUE!  SANS WILL JUST GO TO THE WADING POOL AND FALL ASLEEP IN AN INFLATABLE TUBE UNTIL WE LEAVE, LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME WE HAVE BEEN HERE!”  

“that does sound like fun, now that you mention it.  but i’ll stick it out on dry land.”  

“…you should win me something, instead, Sans.  I’ve never been here, but you must be an expert,” Grillby said.  

“HE NORMALLY DOES TERRIBLY, BUT HE DID WIN THE HUMAN FRISK AN ENORMOUS STUFFED BEAR AT ONE POINT!”

“don’t tell my bro, but i cheated,” Sans said.

“I AM RIGHT HERE AND CAN HEAR EVERY WORD YOU SAY?”

“they’re rigged, anyway.”

“…then, fair’s fair,” Grillby said.  

“THE TWO OF YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER,” Papyrus said.  

“thanks.”

“……he has cheated at every game we’ve played together…since we started dating.”

“hey, not all of them.”

“…if he makes an effort at all.”

“there we go.  have to defend my rep.”  

“…win something nice.  For my brother’s child.”  

“now i’m going to flub it with all this pressure on me.”  

Papyrus sighed.  "IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO CHEAT, I AM SURE YOU WILL BE THE MASTER OF DUPLICITY.  I WOULD EXPECT NOTHING LESS OF YOU."

"uh, thanks.”  Was that how his brother saw him?  He’d said something similar, that morning.  Acted like Sans was constantly lying.  But whenever he did tell Papyrus anything, what good did it do him?  

Papyrus had gotten to cry over their dad, because Sans had been honest.  And these days Papyrus worried whenever Sans slept in late, wondering if he was sick again.  The truth was just pretty much a continual downer, which was a big reason why Sans didn’t tell him stuff in the first place.  No point bringing the mood down, especially back when he’d thought they were maybe a month away from a reset.  

“hey, paps.  this chat about me being a huge cheat and a liar made me remember something.”  There was _one_ thing he hadn’t told Papyrus that was actually kind of nice.  "but you can’t tell anyone."

"…OK?" Papyrus looked worried, which made sense.  He must be bracing himself to hear some horrible truth.  

"guess who’s getting hitched.”  

Grillby looked down at him, surprised.  Sans had been the one who didn’t want to tell anyone right away.  

“…IS IT…”  Papyrus stared at them, and then gasped.  "YOU ARE BEING SERIOUS?"  He covered his mouth and started rapping his sandals on the bottom of the basket.  It rocked, a little, but not too badly.  "YOU ARE BEING SERIOUS!  I AM GOING TO GET TO BE THE BEST PAPYRUS AGAIN!  HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT WHEN IT IS GOING TO BE?  WAIT, NO, WE CAN DISCUSS THAT LATER!  I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” Papyrus launched himself across the basket and hugged the both of them.  Grillby managed to yank the chocolate bar he had been eating out of the way before it got smashed.

“oof.   we’re thinking the summer.”

“THAT’S IN TWO WEEKS?”

“ _next_ summer.”  They weren’t really in a rush.  They were already married as far as Sans was concerned, and that was all he’d wanted.  Grillby needed to work out the logistics, anyway, and he was busy all the time.  

“…it has to be summer,” Grillby explained.  

“OK?  WELL, MORE TIME FOR PLANNING!”  He went back over to his side of the basket.  

“…you know, Sans,” Grillby said.  "…this ride isn’t sound-proof, and your brother…"

"ok.  guess everyone knows now.”  

“I WILL KEEP IT A SECRET FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT!   YEARS, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR PLANS!”

“Hey, dorks!”  Undyne yelled from the basket directly over them. “Congratulations!  Being married kicks butt!”

“welp,” Sans said.  He shrugged.  

“Did I overhear that someone is getting married?” Toriel asked, loud.  

“Yeah!”  Undyne yelled back.  "That slacker’s finally going through with it!"

Sans slid down in his seat.  Maybe he could take a quick shortcut off the ride and not have to experience this.  Grillby grabbed onto his arm.

"Oh!   I believe I had guessed that!  But that is very nice to hear that we are allowed to know, now!”  

Undyne leaned down over the edge of her basket and grabbed onto theirs. “Hey!  Papyrus!  After we drop the brat squad off, let’s take these two out!”  

“YOU JUST STOPPED BEING BANNED FROM THE PARK, SO MAYBE GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT?”  

“I know just the place!”

“OKAY!   WHATEVER YOU SAY!   BUT GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT???”

Undyne shook their basket and hauled herself back up.  

“do i really have to stick around for this?” Sans asked.  

“……I just wanted...to go with you.”  Grillby wasn’t afraid of heights, normally, but he was gripping Sans and the side of the ride like he expected Undyne to tip them upside down.  

“if she makes you think you’re gonna die, that’s how you know she likes you,” Sans said.  

“THAT IS ALSO HOW SHE MAKES THE PEOPLE SHE DISLIKES FEEL!”

“plus everyone else.”

“YES!”

Grillby’s hand on Sans’ arm started to relax.  "Sans…your friends…"

"they’re all great, right?”  

“…………”  Grillby sighed.  "……yes."

They both had to endure a few minutes of congratulations once they were on the ground.  Sans dodged a back-slap from Undyne and then most of the group headed off towards the water park.  

Papyrus hung back with them.  "MY APOLOGIES.  I DID NOT REALIZE SHE WOULD BE EAVESDROPPING!”  

“eh, it’s fine.”  Sans absently picked white fur out of his joints, left over from Tori’s hug.  

“NO!  IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT FINE!  YOU WERE TRUSTING ME!”  

“no big, bro.”  Sans shrugged.  "hey, want to know a real secret?"

"I PROMISE THIS ONE WILL STAY A SECRET!”  He looked relieved that Sans was trusting him again, so quickly.  

Sans had been planning on making Papyrus lean in close to hear a secret and then he’d squeeze his whoopee cushion right by Papyrus’ ear hole.  That was a classic.  But from the look on Papyrus’ face, he thought maybe it wasn’t the best time for that.  "ok."

Grillby opened a package of candy and watched them, not saying anything, also curious about what Sans had to say.  

"see, next summer’s just for fun.  grillbz and me already tied the knot months ago.”

“WHAT?   WHY??”  

Sans shrugged.  

“…at the time…your brother was being sentimental.  How long was that going to last?”  

“TRUE.”

“i’m loaded with sentiment,” Sans said.  "hey, bro.  you really want to know why?“  He gestured for Papyrus to come closer.  

Papyrus leaned in.  

_*PHBHBHBHBRRRTT!*_

"maybe it’s not sentiment i’m loaded with,”  Sans said.

“SANS!”  Papyrus rubbed the side of his head.  

“…it had to be then,” Grillby said.  

“c'mon. nothing beats the ol’ 'make a loud noise when they get close thinking you’re telling 'em a secret’ trick.”  

“GRILLBY, I THINK I UNDERSTAND, NOW.  AND…”  Papyrus grasped Grillby’s hand.  "I AM SORRY.  FOR MY BROTHER.  AND YOUR TASTE."

"…"

"BUT, ANYWAY, YOUR WEIRD TASTE JUST MEANS YOU WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER!  AND SO I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!”

Grillby wasn’t fast enough to save most of the package of candy from Papyrus’ enthusiastic embrace.  


	5. Chapter 5

Grillby remembered a nightmare.  

_Sans hadn’t been in all day.  The bar in Snowdin was almost empty.  Grillby was deeply afraid, and he could not pinpoint a reason for it. He looked around and wasn’t entirely sure he would ever see the missing people again._

_He stepped outside carrying a bag of garbage.  Sans was behind the building, no readable expression on his face.  He pulled his hood up when he saw Grillby and they exchanged a few words._

The dream had been so _mundane_ , in its details, but that sense of fear stayed with Grillby for the rest of the day.  

Could it have happened?

A few of the regulars yelled their goodbyes as Sans headed out for the evening.  Grillby watched his back and absently wiped at the counter. He wasn’t sure how many thousands of times he had seen Sans leave his bar.  There was no way _to_ know, either.  There were conversations that they had, that neither of them would ever remember.  

A customer caught his attention, and he mixed their order, movements automatic.  He pushed down his rising uneasiness.  He knew he could not avoid thinking about it forever.  

Did it matter, if it happened?

That night, he couldn’t settle down.  He watched Sans sleep.  A blue light flickered under Sans’ eyelid, but as far as Grillby could tell, he was peaceful.  Grillby was not sure, suddenly, if this was the first lifetime where Sans had shared his bed.

That uneasy feeling surged up.  Grillby moved away and sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over.  

He remembered Sans talking, while they were out star-gazing:   _if there’s one good thing about doing this over and over_ _it’s getting to see this for the first time.  every time.  that’s nice. it’s funny that there’s anything nice about it._

Grillby felt sick.  He remembered Sans’ face, in his dream.  

Sans cleared his throat and Grillby started.  

“uh.”  Sans had one eye partially open.

“…I woke you?”  

“uh.  dunno.  what time is it?”  

“…too early.  Go back to sleep.”  

“eh.”  Sans leaned up enough to squint at the clock.  "you first."

"I will.  In a minute.”  He looked away.  

Sans shifted over enough to touch Grillby’s back.  "hey.  what’s up?"

He was quiet for a minute, but Sans didn’t move away or say anything else.  "…I had a question."

"shoot.”

Grillby just wanted to get some sleep.  "…you won’t answer it."

"hey. what’s with everyone?”  Sans’ hand dropped away.  There was a note of irritation in his voice.  "you don’t know that.  jeez."

Grillby turned and looked down at him.  Sans stared back, unblinking. "…you’re angry?"

"yeah.  you really got me seeing red,” Sans said.  He winked.  "steamed up."

"Can you be serious for a minute?”  

“that’s a pretty long time.”  Sans really _was_ annoyed.  

“You didn’t even answer _that_ question,” Grillby pointed out.  

“ok.”  He shrugged.  "i can be serious for an entire minute. probably.  now will you tell me what’s bugging you?"

Grillby drew his legs back up onto the bed.  "Sans…how do you remember what happened?  How much do you remember?”  He’d always told himself he wouldn’t push the issue.  If there was one thing he had learned, it was how to tell when someone wanted to be asked about their problems so they could drunkenly pour out everything, and when they didn’t.  Sans never wanted to be asked.  Sometimes, he had wanted someone to listen, but even that was rare. 

“wow.  you really…backed me into a corner, here,” Sans said.  "can’t change the subject without looking like a jerk."

"…just…don’t answer.  I had a…strange dream.  It’s bothering me."

"about me, or what?”

“…about something that...might have happened.”  

Sans considered.  "i get that."  He rubbed at his eye sockets.  "ok, look.  i can carry some notes and other stuff through, and that’s about it.  other than that, it’s the same as everyone else.  weird dreams, déjà vu outta nowhere, meeting someone new but being sure you used to know ‘em.  most people just shrug that kinda thing off, but i’ve got some context, so i can work out what probably went down.  that’s all it is.”  

“Did you ever have a dream where…the bar was almost empty?”

“the guards were all gone, right?  yeah.”

“You weren’t in there, either.  I saw you outside.  You seemed upset.”

“i bet.”

“So…that happened?  Why didn’t the canine unit show up?  Were they killed?”

“that’s a good guess,” Sans said, shrugging.  "or maybe they were having a birthday party and no one invited us."

"…that would explain why you were so upset."  Grillby figured Sans had been serious for _more_ than a minute by that point.

"it’s just not cool leaving people out like that.”

“Sans.”

Sans nudged him.  "promise me you won’t leave me out, the next time you throw a party."

There was nothing to do other than humor him.  "You are dis-invited from every party I am going to throw, forever.”

“oh ok.  our wedding count?”

“Yes.”

“is someone else going, instead of me?”

“No.”

“see.  i like that.  it’s kind of nice.  like, you’re marrying yourself.  that’s a real statement of, uh, self-esteem.  more people should do that.  i’ll make sure i crash it and cheer you on, buddy.”  He nudged Grillby again.  "you’re laughing."

"Never.”

“this is why no one believes me when i say you think i’m funny.”

“Maybe you should stop lying to people about that, then.”  Grillby kissed the top of Sans’ head.  

Sans snorted.  "ok."  He looked up.  "better?”  

Grillby nodded.  

“we done, then?  this stuff stresses me out.”  He yawned.  "feels as bad as getting a job."

"If you don’t mind…I do have another question.”  

Sans’ shoulders slumped, resigned.  He had to have been hoping changing the subject would end the conversation.  "ok, but then you gotta answer one of mine."

"I don’t have any secrets from you.”  

“sure you don’t.  ask away.”  

Now Grillby was almost more curious what Sans wanted to ask him.  "You won’t remember any of this,  right?  If…"  He trailed off.  If everything started over?  

"yup.”

“But you _could_.”  

“i mean, i could write a note that says 'hey, you married grillbz.’  but all the stuff that actually makes that matter’ll be gone.”  

Grillby nodded.  "But if you knew, you could…start over?"

"that’s not how it’d go,” Sans said.  "i wasn’t up for starting a lot back then.  it’d just make things weird for a while."

"Maybe.  It is…a _little_ unfair that it is…entirely your decision. I don’t get any say in this.”  

“look, you’re not thinking it through.  think back.  you wouldn’t’ve been that into the idea.  i mean, i’m great and all, sure,” he said, holding up his hands, defensive, “but c'mon.”  

“…that is something you really _can’t_ decide for me.”  He flickered in irritation.  

“i mean–”  He sighed.  "guess you’ve really got it bad for short guys, huh."

"That has nothing to do with it!”  

Sans’ shoulders shook as he laughed.  "ok.  but, see, if you’re done, this leads right into what you promised you’d answer."

"…I didn’t make any promises."  Was Sans just going to change the subject again?  Was there any real point talking about it, since Sans had made his decision?  

"nuhuh.  you sealed the contract by asking.”  

Grillby crossed his arms over his chest.  He was going to have to answer whatever embarrassing question Sans had for him.  He couldn’t have any high ground as far as fairness went, otherwise.  "…fine."

"so what _is_ the deal with short guys, anyway?”  

Grillby took a minute to consider how he had gotten to this point in his life.  Trying to have a serious conversation had been his big mistake.  

“well?  you admitted it was a thing, just now.  'that has nothing to do with it.’  what’s the deal?  c'mon.  you know i won’t spread it around.”

Grillby dragged his hand down his face.  "It isn’t–there’s no–"

"hey, the questions you asked _me_ were pretty personal.”  

He sighed and looked Sans over.  His skeletal husband had gone to sleep in a pair of shorts and nothing else.  Sans was tiny without his heavier clothes adding bulk to his bones.  Grillby reached over and took Sans’ hand, holding it up.  "…it’s nothing that strange…"

"i bet.”  

Well, he’d promised.  "I…like to feel bigger."  He moved his hand, so he was wrapping it around Sans’ wrist.  "That’s all.”

Sans was staring at their hands.  "…k."

"…you have nothing else to say?"

"promised myself i wouldn’t laugh at whatever your answer was.”  

“…Sans.”

“promised i’d be the… _bigger person_.”  

Grillby sighed.  

“but…i guess i might as well give up, right?”

“You’ll never be the bigger person,” Grillby agreed.  

That did it for Sans.  He pulled his hand free so he could wipe at his eye sockets.  Holding back his laughter for twenty seconds had pushed out a couple tears.  "welp.  always glad to help."

Grillby waited for him to finish.  

"all right, big guy.  secret’s safe with me.”  

“Can we go back to sleep, now?”

“sure.”

Grillby supposed their conversation had at least been distracting.  He lay down and Sans scooted over to curl up against him.  "Why did I marry you, again?” Grillby asked.  

“so you could ask that question all the time,” Sans said.  

“It _is_ satisfying.”  He shifted until he was comfortable, and then hugged Sans a little closer.  He thought he could finally get some sleep.  

The room was quiet, for a few minutes.

“uh.  by the way.”  Sans sounded wide awake, like he hadn’t even been trying to sleep.  "sorry about making that decision for you. it’s way better this way, though."

"You could still somehow tell yourself, couldn’t you?  It’s not final.”

“sure. won’t though.  heh.  sorry.”  There was a tightness to his voice that kept Grillby from saying anything.  "could only really bother to do this if i thought it’d only happen once.  makes it more important, or, uh, something.  have to kind of make an effort, if it’s my only shot at it, you know?"  His voice kept getting softer as he spoke.  "makes it more real, somehow.”

“It would always be real.”  

“heh.  i guess.”  Sans wasn’t going to change his mind.  

“I just want to say that…if it were up to me, and this…time…was suddenly over, I would want another chance at it.”  

“i guess that’s true in _theory_ for me too, and, wow, kind of nice that you’re so on board with this.  guess you really like bad jokes and cooking for me.”  Sans touched Grillby’s arm, the one resting across his rib cage.  He traced a line down it with his finger bone.  "but…i dunno.  i’m almost positive this is the first time you’ve told me what your short thing was about.  so that makes it pretty special.  like, there’s a point where pretty much everything we’ve done is something we’ve never done before.  that’s not true about a lot of other stuff that’s happened."

"At least you will forget I told you that.”  

“always looking on the _bright_ side, eh, grillbz?”  He laughed.  "eh, maybe we’ll get to let this run its course.  it’s been a few years.  maybe the timeline can be stable for a while, or someone will set a new start point after we’re done and there’ll be no coming back for us.  some other suckers’ll have to deal with it.“

"…maybe."

"odds are good, but so long as we _can_ be sent back, well.  gotta live with that." 

"All right.”  Grillby thought that the _one nice thing_ about going back would be getting to do everything for the first time, again.  He would _live with_ Sans’ decision, though.  It was probably the better decision, anyway, considering how much more time Sans had spent thinking it through.  He’d had years to change his mind.  

“ok?”

“It’s not the decision I would make, but it only takes one person to decide when a relationship is over.”  

“aw.   that sounds like i’m dumping you.”  

“In the past.  Preemptively.”  

“yeah.  also the future.  time travel’s cool, right?”  

“…amazing.”

“yeah.  thanks, grillbz.  you’re really being the _bigger man_ , here.”

“Sans, is the only way I’m hearing the end of this if time travel erases everyone’s memory?  Do I have to look forward to that?”

“you gotta give me at least a couple years to get over it.”

“…you’ll never…get over this.  Or anything.”

“cause i’m so short.”  

Sans started to laugh, again, and Grillby patiently waited him out.  

He didn’t manage to get much sleep, that night.

 

–-

 

Grillby had what felt like the same dream again, but the next time there were only a few guards missing.  He dreamt about the human child, who he genuinely liked, but the dream version of them made him uneasy.

He noticed when he met someone new, and they seemed familiar.  His work meant that he met new people every night, so he couldn’t read into it as much as Sans seemed to.  They could have just visited the bar before.  Sometimes Sans would say something and Grillby would get a sense of déjà vu, but of course he did.  Sans had twelve jokes he told over and over again.  Grillby scoured the internet for new joke books to give as subtle gifts.  

It was time to start planning a wedding.  He wondered, idly, if he had planned weddings before, with other men.  What were they like?  Did they stack things on him when he was sleeping?  Did they distract him with bad jokes when he was in a mood, until he couldn’t concentrate on what had been bothering him?

He couldn’t keep wondering about the other lives he’d lived.  The air was getting cold and dry, and Sans wanted to take him out again.  The winter was the best time to go star-gazing, especially when you didn’t have skin and the cold didn’t get to you.  

Every time he managed to find time to go out, Sans’ star-gazing spot had more structure to it.  He was building something big, that took time, that he wouldn’t have started if he didn’t think he’d get the chance to finish it.  

It would be nice to relive old moments for the first time.  Despite that, Grillby decided he didn’t want to go back.  


End file.
